Search me o lord and know my heart! Psalms 139:23,24
Thought will sleep well for the journey ahead today, as we came a little early yesterday. Woke up by 3 am with disturbed thoughts from yesterday amidst concerns for my rest as another long journey awaits with visiting houses and 3 meetings in a day. Prayed till 6 a.m.!
Guess this is part of the life in God! Jesus prayed all night, withdrew to the desert at times, separated himself from the world and prepared himself. Must cultivate that lifestyle of prayer more! He who gives me sleep and He who wakes me up, does he not give rest for the soul and strength for the day? At peace now, though some tough decisions to take in light of the mistakes of some.
The pathway of a leader is not easy. His decisions aren’t always understood and cheered. He feels the pressure to change his stances but the test of a good leader is in the decisions he takes and decides to stand by. He must decide with love, yet firmness. With wisdom yet make his stance plain to the simple. Find the right place and time which may not be always conducive.
God, give me all these characteristics and help my motive to be always to help people and have their best in mind regardless of how tough my decisions have to be on them!
Was moved by the love shown by people we met in different places! Then the question… do they do it because I am their leader, and they have to? Do they expect favor in return from me? Or do they genuinely love me and then the thought; ‘why do I do the things I do for other people – talking to them …meeting them… being with them… is it because I truly love them?”
O Lord change me, so that in everything I do, my love proceeds from a pure conscience!
Can true love really flow out of a heart that is whole? Nay, it is the heart that is broken and wounded, toiled and spent. It is that heart that has truly loved for silently behind the scenes are the hands of the gentle potter working in it. Teaching it to mend others even when broken, heal wounds when wounded itself, refreshing the weary soul when weary itself, understanding while being misunderstood; It is those gentle hands, but they are pierced and wounded themselves!
“By his wounds I am healed” – Isaiah 53:5
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